“The rhythm of the body, the melody of the mind and the harmony of the soul create the symphony of life” – B.K.S. Iyengar

It is not funny!! Some people literally choose poverty. Everyone who does something wrong knows that it is wrong before they do it. They also know the possible negative consequences of those acts but they still proceed with them. My high school principal used to repeatedly tell us that we cannot change our past but we can determine the quality of our futures. With time, I believed it. This is very simple, the choices you make today will determine how you will be tomorrow. This means that the basis of your decision-making strategy is very important.

Some things do not make sense. You find a person using their tuition money to buy clothes, alcohol or drugs. You will find a person having unprotected sex with someone they do not even know. You will find a person going out and drinking the whole night when they have an exam to write the following day. You find a man building a beautiful house for another woman while he and his family are staying in a shack. These, among other things, do not make logical sense.

The mere fact that the aforementioned things are happening, simply means that there is a problem. The basis that people are using to make decisions is not in order. Let me break this down for you.

A human being is a combination of three things: the body, the mind and the soul. It is of great importance that each of them must grow with time, but we must be extra careful about which one dominates our decision-making process.

The body

The body is the physical being. It embodies the mind and the soul. The body experiences growth through eating healthy food. This part of the human being plays a vital role in your well-being. If the body is not well, the whole human being is negatively affected. For example, if you are sick you cannot do much even when the desire and the plans are there. This means that it is very important that we take care of our bodies by eating healthy, by exercising and by playing safe (avoiding all avoidable bad health conditions). As much as your body should grow, it must not be the one dominating the decision making process. This is the main reason behind teenage pregnancy, for example. Young people will proceed to have unprotected sex even when they know the consequences. The reason they do this is not because they are stupid, but it is simply because at that point their bodies are dominating the decision-making process. And that is how they choose poverty.

The mind

The mind is the mental being. It grows by acquiring information and experiences. For example, if you can bench 50kg in the gym, chances are that you will be able to go buy a sack of 50kg of rice at Shoprite alone. This analogy should be able to make you understand why educated people are successful in most, if not all areas of their lives. This is the reason why students that read newspapers, novels and books in general, are better than those that do not in terms of writing and speaking. You might find yourself studying some chapters that you do not even think will help you in your life. Trust me, they will. If you do well in them, it will be easier for your mind to handle heavier weights in future.

The nature of the acquired information also matters. This is because the subject of the acquired information is what the mind mostly meditates on. Try to think about what goes on in your mind for a few days, even weeks, after watching pornography. This subject then stands a higher chance to influence the decision that the mind will opt for. People who watch a lot of pornography, for example, think about sex a lot. At the end, this compromises their attention, concentration and focus on the things they would like to achieve. You should be careful about the information that you acquire. It should be in line with the goal that the whole human being has agreed to pursue. A mature mind respects logic, you will not do it if it makes no logical sense. Dating someone because of how they look, having unprotected sex with knowledge of all STDs and teenage pregnancy, having sex with chances that a condom might burst and you cannot afford the consequences, drinking your tuition money, etc. Do not be an uneducated person with a degree. The body must take instructions from a mature mind, the consequence is the opposite of poverty. An immature mind gives the body the wrong instructions, the consequence is poverty.

Curiosity killed the cat. As said above, another way of growing the mind is through experiences. This is actually the easiest way only if you understand that it does not matter who went through the experience. It does not matter if you saw it, heard about it or you were part of it; the fact that you are now familiar with it remains. There is danger in trying to experience what you heard or saw, while you know you cannot afford the consequences. I do not want to say much on this topic, but I will share Mpendulo’s story rather.

Mpendulo is a young boy raised in a Christian family by working parents. Mpendulo is an extreme individual; he gives undivided attention to whatever he does. He was an exceptional kid because of this. He has a funny strategy that works for him. When he comes to a place he will be the quiet one, he will observe and master the environment, and with time he will be the one in the forefront. He was an ordinary student when he started high school. Even though most were failing and struggling in varsity, his case was different.

Deep down Mpendulo was curious. He did not understand why people love weed so much, why they love alcohol and sex so much to the extent of compromising their academics for these things. He then decided to try these things out in his third year. He ran to be in the committee of the residence that he stays in; it was not easy campaigning because everyone wants in. He was one of the ten people that made it. When you are in this committee you get all sorts of privileges, free tickets to parties, free alcohol and it is easier to get girls because you are in a position of power. Mpendulo started drinking, fortunately he did not enjoy it and he decided to quit. “I do not drink today because I have been drunk a number of times before and I did not like the feeling”. This made more sense to him than, “I do not drink because I was told not to.” He was happy about this. Then he moved to weed and space-muffins, muffins baked with weed as one of the ingredients. He did not enjoy being high and he decided to quit. “I don’t smoke weed today because I have done it a number of times before and I did not like the feeling.” This made more sense to him than, “I do not smoke weed because I was told not to.” This made more sense to him.

Then Mpendulo moved to the next thing on his to-do list. With his thorough research on girls and sex, Mpendulo knew almost everything about sex. He transformed his look; Mpendulo had game all of a sudden. One party he ended up with some girl. He would socialize with his bottle that he never got to finish. To cut the story short he lost his virginity and unfortunately, he loved it. It was AWESOME!!! He could not even explain it. The beast was officially unleashed. He knew all he needed to know about girls and sex. When he met new girls that he liked, his strategy was: quickly find out what kind of a person she is. Then sell her the notion that you are the kind of a guy that girls like her would die to date. Different girls would tell you about different kinds of Mpendulo (a church person, a party person, a nerd). It worked for him. He got laid twice a week, on average. And because he studied this concept in depth, he maintained his clients. The last party before the final examinations, Mpendulo met this girl, a first year student. As a self-proclaimed expert in the field, she was just another open book for him. Sometime later she found herself in his room. It was his first time sleeping with a virgin. He did not even bother taking her contacts when she left. Mpendulo continued living his life, giving advice to his friends who were in the industry before him. Three weeks later he received an inbox message on Facebook, “we have to talk, my periods are not coming.”

Mpendulo fell on the floor and slept there the whole day. He did not attend lectures and he did not even eat. He was thinking about how well he started his life, how he has disappointed his parents, he was even considering the very same abortion he used to preach against. Later that day, his closest friend came to his room after lectures. He found him lying on the floor. Mpendulo was planning to deny this baby and not even talk to the poor girl on the basis that he always used expensive condoms and he was sure that the condom did not burst. His friend then asked him, “If you are troubled like this, can you even try to imagine the state in which that girl is in. You did this, take responsibility.” Mpendulo arranged to see that girl that very same night. He was very supportive, he told her that he will support the baby and she should not worry. The following day the girl got her period. Apparently when girls lose their virginity, their menstrual cycle changes a bit. That girl was so in love with Mpendulo. She always tells her friends that she has never met a guy so responsible like him. She calls him every now and then proposing that they should work things out. Mpendulo on the other hand, did not want anything to do with girls and sex from that day onwards. He realized that a very short moment can change everything.

All hell could break loose in a split second. One mistake can change everything. Mpendulo was almost a father at the age of 20. He passed all his third year courses and he fell in love with one beautiful girl the following year and they chose to abstain from sex. Apparently, one of his friends who was also in the house committee impregnated two girls and he failed half of his courses that year. Six of the other guys in the committee also failed, some were even excluded academically from the university. This could simply have been Mpendulo. Fortunately Mpendulo is one of the lucky few who got the second chance in life. You might not get lucky. It is within your very best interest not to do that which you will regret doing if things go wrong. It is within your very best interest to do things that make logical sense. Learn from other people’s experiences.

The soul

The soul is the spiritual being. It is arguably the most important part of a human being. Think of it as a hole inside you. You will only be complete if this hole is filled. Peace, happiness, love, pleasure and other abstract feelings are examples of what you get when this tiny hole is filled. One can try to fill this hole in many ways but it will only result in temporary pleasure which, at the end of the day will lead to addiction. Alcohol, drugs, sex, chocolates or whatever you can desire/crave is an example of the things that can fill the hole temporarily. The unfilled space is the measure of how much you will desire or crave the thing your system believes will fill that space. It is also a measure of how far you are willing to go to get that thing. After getting that thing, you will be complete for a while but sooner or later you will be exactly where you started. It is like hunger or thirst. You can quench it now but you will be thirsty a few hours later. And if you do not drink something, you will get thirstier. The more that happens, the more extreme the things you are willing to do for a glass of water will get. This can be used to explain why a man is killed for his own wallet (thieves at that point believe they need that wallet more than the owner does), why teachers/lectures sleep with students in exchange for marks, amongst many other things. Either way, you will have to fill this hole. What you choose to fill this hole with will determine the decision you will make, your goals and how you will do things in your daily life. I am encouraging you to fill this hole with any religion or belief of your choice.

“If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything”

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Tell us what you think: Did you find this chapter helpful? Which points stood out for you?