“Goodness! Calm down,” said Mrs Tshuma as Theresa continued working herself up.

“Oh my God! I never thought I would actually know a blaspheming … sinner!”

“Jussus, Theresa, calm your farm. What did she say? ‘OMG, Jesus Christ, this lesson is boring.’ It’s just words, you dumbass.” Tjatjarag Ngcebo was stirring trouble again.

“Ngcebo, one more rude outburst and you get a demerit. Antonia, what did you say?”

Antonia tried to look defiant, but was nervous. “I said, that I don’t believe in … that is, that I am an … um … atheist, Mrs Tshuma.”

Theresa clapped her hands over her ears. Magdalen let out a little scream: “No! How can anyone not believe in God?”

“Kwaaaa! Are you seriaaaas, girl? It’s not a joke?” yelled Ngcebo as his friends high-fived him. The rest of the class turned to each other, talking excitedly.

Antonia’s heart pounded, her knees shook and she thought miserably: Now I know I was right to keep that to myself. Just what I was scared of has come true. They won’t understand. They’ll think there is something bad about me. Oh shit – maybe even Sindi and Tanya will drop me! Maybe even Andile will stop …

She couldn’t help but steal a glance at him. He was staring at her, shocked. He turned away instantly, his jaw tight, as their eyes briefly met. The rejection made her heart shrink in pain.

Right behind him, Refiloe looked boldly at her, half-smiled and raised her eyebrow. Antonia understood the silent message: “Do you know what you have just done, gal? Handed yummy Andile right to me – on a plate.”

She looked at Sindi, who sat still as stone, looking straight ahead, like she did not know what expression to wear on her face. Next to her – yay! – was Tanya just being Tanya. Her eyes were bright and round in surprise, and her hand was over her mouth, trying not to let out a burst of giggles at the absurd scene.

Then Solomon’s voice rose above the buzz: “Is she … are we … in the presence of evil?” He began to pray, “God, I ask you, protect us from this girl who the Devil has lead astray, and take her into your loving …”

Some students started laughing, while others also began babbling prayers. Others shouted at them all to stop being ridiculous and to shut up.

Then the Deputy Head loomed in: “Silence!” Everyone shut up at once.

“What in Heaven’s name is going on in here, Mrs Tshuma?”

Solomon anxiously cut in: “Sir, she – Antonia – just told us she is an atheist! Is it OK … I mean, I don’t know. Is it allowed?”

Mr Dube was taken aback. “Really? Goodness, my girl, aren’t you young for such a … um … definite … statement? Don’t you mean you’re just having a temporary crisis of faith?”

Antonia stood fiddling with her pen, wishing she would just evaporate, float away invisibly and condense again into herself at home. How I regret opening my mouth, she thought. Why, why, why the sudden urge to tell the truth?

“Umm, ja, maybe, Sir,” she mumbled, then gave silent thanks as the final bell rang.

“Now that you have regained your manners, wait silently for dismissal, everyone,” said the Deputy. Before leaving, he said quietly to Mrs Tshuma: “Perhaps have a private chat. Any problems at home?”

She nodded. “Antonia, stay behind. And Magdalen and Theresa, and you Solomon, please, just take it easy.” They looked unconvinced and hurried out, whispering to each other.

Andile strode out of the classroom at once, without even a goodbye glance, closely trailed by Refiloe.

Tears welled in Antonia’s eyes; her throat tightened. Was it all over, before it had even really begun with this beautiful guy? No more shy walks home? They hadn’t even kissed yet.

She blinked and swallowed, and turned to her teacher. Mrs Tshuma felt unsure of what to say. “Antonia, are you sure about this? I must say I have never knowingly met anyone who’s an atheist. It’s unusual here. Is this just teen rebellion? Everything OK at home, dear?”

Her teacher’s honesty and kind tone made Antonia feel a little better. “Yes, Ma’am. Really, everything’s fine at home. I am an atheist because of them I guess. My mom doesn’t believe, and my dad is just, well, a lapsed Catholic.”

She didn’t want to tell Mrs Tshuma about the other reason for her atheism; the reason locked tight in her heart. It was still too painful.

Mrs Tshuma watched Antonia’s lonely figure walk away. I wonder how Andile will react, she thought. He belonged to Mrs Tshuma’s own Loving Shepherd Family Church.

***

Tell us: What do you think of atheists? If you are religious, could you be/are you friends with any atheists?